I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
