dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
