The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
