I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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