Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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