So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
