The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
