that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
