the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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