hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
