Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
