I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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