I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
