my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize