I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
