Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
