I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
