you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
