Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
