Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
