The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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