This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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