If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
