Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
