All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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