12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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