i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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