Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
