Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
