Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
