weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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