i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
