my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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