would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
