Christians are straight up FREAKS
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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