Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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