you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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