Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We don't watch enough power rangers
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Also, beer. Big fan.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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