wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
