I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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