remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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