At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
