Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize