if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize