Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
