You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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