I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
