We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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