he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
