there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
