i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
