question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
