just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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