Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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