he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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