As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
