Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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