i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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