Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
