there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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