3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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