i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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